all american family dinner

mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked

son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice

mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy

son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY

dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.

son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?

dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken

mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.

son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!

dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend

son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition

things every highschooler should know

slangwang:

  • slut shaming doesnt make you cool
  • literally no one cares if you smoke weed every day
  • literally no one
  • do not be afraid to make eye contact with people in the hallway
  • thank the people who serve you lunch
  • say hello to the janitors
  • appreciate your parents
  • establish good friendships with teachers who care the most
  • it wont make you a teacher’s pet so stfu
  • stop spending so much time on the computer if you want better grades and more sleep

(via danedehansolo)

totalhunk:

missvoltairine:

I PROMISE you that every single depressed person has been told to exercise already, you are never ever ever going to be the first person to suggest that to any depressed person ever.

i started working out to feel less sad, but it just made me sad with great forearms

(via danedehansolo)